Around a month after the trial, my attorney visited me with news regarding the status of my case. The report he brought was far beyond my expectations. Previously, the District Attorney attempted to provide the Labette Correctional Conservation Camp (boot camp) for me as an alternative to prison. But Boot Camp did not accept me because of the severity of my crimes. Following my trial, however, the Lord put it upon the heart of the judge to write a letter to the administrators of Boot Camp requesting that they accept me into their program. This resulted in great success, and as a result of their acceptance of me, the District Attorney revised his plea bargain which granted me community probation upon the completion of the Boot Camp program. This was the news that my attorney presented. Out of exceeding joy I immediately accepted the plea agreement. And after spending six months in Boot Camp, I was released back into the community. This amounted to a total of fourteen months of incarceration.

Though I learned many life improving methods in boot camp, it was not enough to change my evil conduct. I did not learn the discipline needed to keep me out of the streets. And most importantly, I did not learn the reality of where a life of sin would end. Upon my release I continued to travel the path to destruction. Even though I was given a three years probation period, I did not abide by the terms laid out in the agreement. I continued to associate with the same social group, and I got heavily involved with alcohol. The motivation I gained from Boot Camp was applied to my endeavors to become rich. And due to my involvement with illegal drugs, I was slowly gaining wealth. So there I was, living free and prospering in many ways. But even though I was gaining the desires of my heart, deep down I was afraid. I did not want to live in fear for the rest of my life, yet my fears were not capable of restraining my egotistic ways. But the hands of God were directing the events in order for his power to be seen.

A wise King once said, “He who covers his sins will not prosper” (Proverbs 28:13a). Fourteen months after my release this proverb was proved true in my life. As a result of my continual engagement in illegal activities, I found myself sitting in the County jail again. This was the second time I had been arrested as an adult. The crimes that I committed this time were not as severe as the former crimes, but the amount of time I was facing was still great. However, the effects of this latter incarceration were different from the former. Immediately after my incarceration I began to question myself and ponder the course of my life. Most disturbing to me was the though of leaving my little girl, who was only two months old, in a world too large for her to live in without her father. I could not believe that I abandoned her. For this and other reasons my heart was severely broken, and I wept for many nights. “What am I doing?” “Is there a better way to live?” “Where will I end up in life?” These were some of the various questions I asked myself as I sought the meaning of my life.